So, after putting together a really extensive custom search engine for plus size clothing over on Fat Chic, I got to thinking about all the nifty ways I might apply the technology elsewhere. Along with building myself a private bath and beauty supply listing and attempting to make one unique to my Etsy shop¹ I decided to make this one for my occasional witch-based shopping needs. While I do use local businesses or make my own supplies a good portion of the time, sometimes it’s nice to just find what I need online.

The engine is by no means comprehensive: I pretty much stuck to shops I’m familiar with, that have a broad or reasonably unique selection, that are Google friendly. This isn’t going to be a great advertising panorama although there are text ads that will pop up in search. If you click them, I get paid, at the advertiser’s expense. Thus, full disclosure is done.

One of the nifty things you can do with Google search that a lot of pagan shoppers will appreciate is search by price. So if you want a beeswax candle between $5 and $20 type in beeswax candle $5..$20 and an appropriate list will come up.

So happy shopping! I’ve added this engine to a handy sidebar widget on my page (next I need to get some of my author’s links back in as they disappeared the last time I upgraded the page layout.) But, here it is, for your convenience and my own.

Share on Facebook

1. the engine for the Etsy shop does not seem to work as I’d hoped [↩]

Ze penguins. Zey bicker. pic by Diana Rajchel

My husband is a scientist. He identifies as such. He doesn’t think there’s no such thing as spiritual experience because the numbers tell him that there probably is something along that line, somewhere. Even so, he identifies wholly as a skeptic. Most of the time we operate pretty well – his skepticism does push him to research things and he gets to feel like he’s protecting my safety by understanding what I’m doing without going about it in a paternalistic and patronizing way. Sometimes, though, he’s not really being skeptical – he’s just being inert.

Such as my latest adventure. I got my hands on a DVD labeled “yoga for your eyes.” If it does make outrageous claims about perfecting your vision, I can’t read it because I think it’s printed in Afrikaans. The reason it got my attention at all is because a few years ago I watched an interview with a 108 year old woman who actually got herself off of wearing glasses at all after she discovered some eye exercise book in her public library.¹

My husband and I are both terribly nearsighted. We both have astigmatism. While corrective lenses and surgery are definitely options to us, I thought this might be well worth exploring. We have plenty of options without yoga.

Even so, I’ve watched the exercises and it doesn’t seem like I’m likely to hurt myself. In fact, I might even relieve the eyestrain I frequently give myself on days I don’t take enough breaks from my computer. And if I think something has changed, I can go to my optometrist and get an objective measure of whether or not my eyesight has improved. I know I can’t correct the astigmatism without surgery, so I’ll never get 100% – but slowing down the need to hold a book two inches from my face with my glasses off might be kind of nice.

The subtext of the conversation with my husband is a regular one I’ve had over the years with other skeptics, and it’s one of the reasons I get so impatient with them:

A lot of them insist because something might not work, there’s no reason to try it. This can come from fear of failure, or from fear of being wrong. This does not include situations where skeptics, doing their jobs, have actually proven whether something does or doesn’t work. This is stuff where it’s all inconclusive.

My husband isn’t quite on the fauxhemian/douchetastic/hipsteresque bandwagon where people “cynic” themselves into non-motion. But this particular argument suggests he’s been infected by too many people that do think it’s better not to try at all.

Scientists rely on failure. It’s actually part of the query process: you try stuff, and most of it just doesn’t work. So you keep trying stuff, until something does. It’s the same way with serious and intelligent mystics: not everything you try is going to work. But just because it’s in an arena other than science, the damned skeptics get all upset – maybe it’s because if the stuff we do works, they’re going to have to go back and do more science experiments and fail at a bunch of stuff to figure out why.

Not trying something that won’t hurt you just because it might not work is, in my mind, a shameful heap of bullshit. By golly I am going to try it. If it doesn’t work, I can’t see myself being particularly upset – I’m in a position where I do have other options for my vision health anyway.

For heaven’s sake Mike, it’s not like they’re asking me to poke out my eye!

Share on Facebook

1. She also figured she was alive because God forgot about her. Personally, given how pissed she was, I think maybe her God was just afraid of the earful she was going to give when he finally did show up. [↩]

I daresay we all go through a phase where we think we know just everything. What we fail to notice during that phase is how we’re getting absolutely nowhere.

Things I am really tired of:

I am SO academic. I’ve read ALL the source materials.

Ever? Really? I’ve read Agrippa’s Three Books of Occult Philosophy cover to cover, and since I can’t read ancient Greek, I use a lot of stuff on Internet Sacred Text Archive. It’s so boring it actually prevents useful learning. While I encourage my students to read whatever interests them, I don’t push too much on source materials until they’re ready to start talking to gods.

I’m sure those of us who are serious read a good number of source texts. But unless you’ve got a degree in Classical studies, you are flat out lying if you claim you’ve read them ALL.

Insert any anti-other-religion sentiment, followed by standard justification because “something bad happened”

I know a lot of people are justifiably bitter about their past religious experiences. And you have a right to be about YOUR FORMER CHURCH. But when you paint all of one religion with the same brush, you are willfully being a bigot. I know it’s hard to imagine, but Christianity has a left, Islam has magic workers and Hindus think pagans are Hindu – but don’t see Hindus as pagans¹ .

This is personal: QUIT MAKING ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT ME.

I swear about half the attitude I get is just because I write once in awhile for a certain moon-oriented publisher. I do have graduate level education, I did go through initiations up to third degree twice², I am not Gardnerian, nor have I ever been, nor do I ever want to be. I am an adult in my mid 30s who has practiced my faith seriously every single day since I was 19.  I am not a goth. I RABIDLY dislike JRR Tolkien. I heart my technology. I see no virtue whatsoever in martyrdom, poverty or pretending that raging negativity is in any way truth telling. The environment matters to me a lot, but I’m going to just do my thing to take care of the earth, not make pious ranting shows about it.

I hear a lot of excuses as to why not to practice magic and I think they’re all bullshit to cover for being afraid of the entire world. I think having someone take vows without knowing what those vows are before a ceremony is a dirty, dishonorable practice.  If you don’t at least try to be a good person, I don’t like you. If it’s an occult book published before 2003, there’s a very good chance I’ve read it or may have it waiting for me on my shelf. I do think I need to keep a public reading list – I’ve had so many books recommended to me that I read several years ago that it makes me want to choke a bitch. I stopped wearing a pentacle in favor of a Vitruvian man pendant, and I’ve had very good success with making sure people of other faiths treat my religion respectfully by letting them get to know me and that I am a moral human being who believes in a greater good and then, when asked, explaining my faith. I feel no need to be different. I already am different. Very different.

If I’m not writing about magic here, it’s because you’re not seeing it, not because it’s not there.

This rant triggered by idiots who miss the point and assume I’m some 20-something sitting on a stack of pizza boxes while thumbing through my Cunningham³ .

Share on Facebook

1. there’s a temple a block from where I lived, and a mosque across the street. Yes, I did ask. [↩]
2. whether or not either time was a good decision given I was still in my 20s is a moot point as I’m with neither tradition now [↩]
3. RIP [↩]

It’s not.

The only time I’ve encountered darkness and violence as a result of my religious preference has been when people who are NOT Wiccan decided to be assholes about it. Much of the “violence” comes when a family member who is not Wiccan has an inappropriate sense of what s/he has any right to control.

But for the under 18s, they can still make you go to their church. But no one has a right to control what you think, despite motherly selfish con artistry since Eve. Hang in there.

I’m not eating your cats or your children. I don’t need baby fat for flying ointment when olive oil is so easily obtainable these days.

Oh, and I’m positive I’m not going to hell. But you might want to take a step back and think about where you’re living; I’m pretty sure spending that much time scared and angry is hell. I’ve always liked God, and I can’t imagine my big buddy being pleased with anyone doing a job he’s already quite good at.

Share on Facebook

While I disagree strongly that religion is the only way or even necessarily the right way to instill the basic values of respecting property, using violence only when necessary, communicating honestly and truthfully, and encouraging respect through asking questions rather than operating on labels formed by parents, it is for the most part the system we have and the only system parents themselves know. It’s often the false belief that you can only be a good person if you have religion, or all too often, if you are Christian (with a patronizing “maybe” for the other monotheists at the party.)

I certainly don’t believe that religion is the only path to “righteousness” or as I prefer, “decency.” I’ve seen plenty of firsthand behavior that has demonstrated devout Christians, Muslims and neopagans being terrible, terrible people and every single one of them had some excuse crafted from a convenient and deliberate lie to themselves from their own religion. Religion as a tool for community in instilling positive values is a great thing as long as the values are placed ahead of the religion. Sometimes, that’s just not so, unfortunately.

So when a minor comes to me with questions about practicing Wicca and getting away from their familial religion, those children certainly have my empathy, although I frankly question their motivations the same as I would any adult practitioner. Even though they have my empathy, I will get away from that line of dialog as fast as I can.

Why?

Mainly because there’s a good chance their parents are crazy. Lawsuits for corruption of a minor or even worse implying some sort of inappropriate acts with the children flash before my eyes. I do not want some kid’s parents stomping over my home and privacy because that kid just wants to hang a pentacle in his or her room.

Also, because as long as the parents are not abusive, those kids have no civil rights. None. Not until you’re 18, and thus old enough to die in a war. You do get Miranda rights – you’re still responsible to behave legally, you just can’t sign any contracts¹ and your parents get to make all the decisions about your welfare – religion included. Some parents are more lax about it than others, but ultimately the parental units make that final decision about how much freedom you do or don’t have.

I realize if you really want to practice Wicca, that sucks.

But since I’m pretty sure a good chunk of people don’t want to practice Wicca so much as they want to be “just like Willow,” I think it’s fine.

I don’t believe Wicca – or any other form of neopaganism – is or ever was supposed to be a growth religion. And when kids get “into it” it and then drop it when they find out exactly how mundane and non-dramatic magic really is, it devalues the longterm cultural legitimacy of my faith. It already took us until 1980 to get recognized by the IRS, and even that’s shaky ground.

For the rare and truly serious child, there will be a few things quite evident early on:

Wicca is a religion of calling. It is not meant for everyone, it should not be meant for everyone and we don’t have a particular message to bring to the masses. We are part of the crowds and a fair chunk of us do our work from there.²  To practice Wicca, you do not need a pentacle. While the Burning Times was a myth, an interesting part of that myth is also an interesting object lesson: part of the myth is that brooms, bells and besoms were used as ritual implements because it was what they had on hand anyway as they were common household objects. Why nowadays it’s only valid if it’s specially purchased and obviously different or it’s “olde” comes back to a long list of personal insecurities revolving around being a younger-sibling religion.

If you are under 18, I would say that unless your parents are Wiccan, you don’t need to be Wiccan, either. I would suggest the following if you really and truly want to emerge as an adult Wiccan the following:

1. Keep going through with your family’s core faith. God/ess can find you anywhere. The better you understand your religion of birth, the better equipped you’ll be for spiritual experience outside of it. Explore other versions of your birth religion’s faith: I think people who come to Wicca as damaged Christians hating all Christianity when they know only a fraction of it range between the tragic and pathetic, and those wounds give you a crap foundation for magic.

2. Journal, and look closely at yourself. If you tend to be petty and jealous, you need to work on that before it turns you into a warped adult of any religion. This is true even if you think of your own jealousy as “normal.”  If you know things are wrong in your home, find the courage to get help somehow. I realize a lot of people are attracted to Wicca because of the lack of control in their lives, so getting in some third party help is a good thing. Just be prepared, and be totally honest about what’s going on. Have evidence. We no longer live in a world where people can take you at your word, so making up stories for attention is a spectacularly bad and damaging thing to do.

3.  Pray. No, seriously – taking time out daily to pray is generally acceptable by parents and can help you get a handle on what’s going on around you. You can pray to your family’s god or to God/ess, just get used to having that line of dialog open, and make sure you have some moments of “silent prayer” to give God/ess an opportunity to talk back.

4. You don’t need to read books on Wicca to learn about magic. Depending on how strict your family is, you can read up on ancient history and civilizations, mythology, physics and other sciences, skeptical reasoning, interpersonal communications and body language and a bunch of other stuff that will definitely come in handy should you choose Wicca as an adult.

It’s a complicated matter, and when you’re a kid you’re either guessing blind or not thinking about the future at all. I was guessing blind – my every thought was about the future as that was where all my hope lived. But to make it work, you have to work with your present – and having one less thing to fight with your mother about (assuming it’s possible to avoid fights with your mother) is probably a good thing.

Share on Facebook

1. which is why I consider confirmation vows made before age 18 invalid [↩]
2. I’m sure some predatory Evangelical will make hay with that one. [↩]

I’m going to say up front that while the maiden/mother/crone archetype has its applications in mythology, I am a bit jealous that the men get “to do” archetypes in Wicca while women get “to be” archetypes.¹ As a woman who is definitely too old for the maiden phase, who expressly refuses to bear children and who is far from menopause, I feel vaguely excluded – or like I’m being pressured to get knocked up, and that I won’t have “value” or be “part of the club” unless I do. (This requirement for membership makes it less appealing, not moreso, at least to me.)

Men get certain things like “hunter” and “sage” although “father” and “wise old man” work their ways in somewhere. But women seem to be classified solely by their fertility except in the rare cases of traditions that include “priestess” and “warrioress.” What would be the word for a woman who is fertile, but refuses? Not a Lilith, because she didn’t refuse – oh no, she really didn’t.

Not a maiden. Maidens are considered chaste; refusal includes to some extent sex, or at least intimates an absence of sexual experience.

I’m tempted to draw from a modern archetype, such as Greta Garbo, just because children were not something sexually active women really had a choice about until the advent of birth control. A woman who clearly enjoyed her life in a constructive manner, and left a powerful legacy that involved creations other than children. I like that – a Garbo. All the same I’ll search for some mythological term, but she’s who I’ll have in mind.

Share on Facebook

1. Boys, only you get penis envy. Women get privilege envy. [↩]