8 ways in which I’m “not Pagan”

I have over years been referred to anything on the gamut from "flaming Pagan" to "in the broom closet behind the vacuum cleaner." Really, I fall somewhere in between. I’ve outgrown the belief that immediately announcing "I’m pagan!" contributes anything to the world. I think my current attitude was inspired by some dear friends who are gay, who chose to come out to me after I knew them as people – so my context for these individuals is "This is this person, who is like this, and has these values, and who is also gay." It’s worked well for me as a Pagan who lives in the mainstream, too – and in one work situation years ago, it saved my ass. Another woman training for the same job decided to be "out" as a witch in the most obnoxious way possible, even following one coworker to the library and announcing to him she was reading up on witchcraft (This was the guy who wore the "Lutheran for Life" T-shirt. So oh yeah, it was her harassing him for his beliefs with her beliefs, no question.) I was called in as one of the sane and stable in our work group, and when they brought up the witchcraft thing I was there to say, "I believe that too, and you know me and know my values." Because it was me – and my coworkers knew me – they decided to leave the religion out of their complaints, and it worked just as well because then the badly behaved coworker was removed and I didn’t necessarily need to be in or out of the broom closet. I was Diana, who was really smart and fast on the phones. Oh, yeah, I don’t think she’ll do the church group thing, but she’s good to work on Sunday.

It worked out well for me in that respect.

I also don’t go in for a lot of American Pagan stereotypes, or I’ve outgrown them. So here’s a loose list of things common to neopagans that I happen to not share:
1. I hate, hate HATE J.R.R. Tolkien. It’s bad, laborious writing and it bores the living hell out of me.
2. I think corporate life and thinking has some good things in it worth saving, although corporate culture does need a serious realignment – and corporate personhood needs to die, NOW.
3. I try to avoid wearing black t-shirts or broomstick/peasant skirts. It’s too much of a stereotype, and is actually a subvert reference to body image issues.
4. I hate camping. I mean HATE it. I even tried it again, like I do beets every few years, and I will take a hotel any day, thank you.
5. I believe – and prefer the idea – that Wicca is a modern religion, not a stone age cult. I think that the stone age cult stuff smacks of chicanery, stupidity and low self-confidence.
6. I enjoy science fiction, but I hate Star Trek with a burning passion. Making Star Trek references results in me finding excuses to leave, usually leaving a dust cloud behind me.
7. I believe in being personally organized, and I believe the "herding Pagans is like herding cats" is the statement of those who have not bothered to learn basic organizational skills.
8. I have no fantasies whatsoever about the past being better than the present. It’s all a work in progress, emphasis on progress.

Eclectic: Use what works, not whatever the hell you want

I don’t see a lot of people use the term “eclectic” to describe their Wiccan spiritual practices anymore. I think this is because of the bad rap eclecticism got in the 90s, when hordes of new practitioners – me included – wandered into the neopagan movement and picked up the term to describe ourselves. I think most of us did this because “eclectic” seemed like the best way to handle our fears of commitment. As those around me became “serious” or dropped out in favor of another spirituality or absence thereof, the use of the term “eclectic” faded. Most of those individuals I knew who identified as eclectic back-when now uphold specific traditions or styles of magic. Teaching covens I encountered did seem to push this approach: pick a tradition. Stick with it. Be serious if you’re going to be taken seriously. Continue reading

My phone was tapped because I am a witch

091110 034 2010 Summer at Club Jager
No, really.

And it’s not that big a deal.

Seriously.

Here’s the story:

Years ago, before I started grad school and around the time I finished my bachelor’s degree, I knew a guy. He was a non-trad at MSU, VietNam war vet, one of those shady drifters who liked college girls, especially those of us who were misfits before the punk genre revived and gave our watered-down follow-ups a name.1 He was also one of those vegetarian Buddhists so obnoxious that my ex once wanted to throw chicken bones at him when we were eating together at a bar. But I digress.

Shady guy naturally had a shady living situation. I knew nothing about this. Shady guy also knew I practiced Wicca, and stated he found my take on it more respectable than what he found among other college girls. This was during the rise of the fluff bunny Wicca population, before metaphorical cats descended upon us in the form of Real Life and the Bush administration. Shady guy was quite fond of seeing me, and announcing loudly “It’s my favorite witch!” Continue reading

  1. This is not to say all punks were watered down. But enough of them at Mankato were. []

Happy Solstice!

These photos are from the Minneapolis annual Solstice celebration. The theme this year was “Water Rites” and my dear friend Brenda was one of the dancers in it. This modern dance ceremony marks the point of highest sun in the sky. That’s a big deal in Minnesota, where winter lingers and controls so very much of our lives.

This took place along the banks of the Mississippi River, and yes, this really is what Minneapolis looks like. It’s a powerful combination of urban and nature, harmoniously interwoven.

On Friday I dehaunted two homes!

Bear with me on this one. I performed something a bit more than a house cleansing and a bit less than an exorcism on two homes on Friday. It took all day, though most of that time I spent preparing materials for the living inhabitants to use since the actual spirit-dealings were not as time consuming as talking with the homeowners to fully understand what was going on. If you read nothing further on this post, please take this away for your own workings if you deal with hauntings, ghost hunting, etc.: when a house manifests psychic phenomena look first to the lives of the living people there. A lot of people are programmed to look to the history of a building or locale for a romantic story of haunting, but ultimately a living psyche is needed to fuel the majority of phenomena. There’s a Japanese horror trope where it’speople that are haunted and not buildings; while I refuse to watch any more such horror movies1, I agree with the trope.
(There’s also a snake picture below the cut for those who are freaked by snakes.)
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  1. I almost bought a tarp for my television after watching Ringu II []

Bat bones are not crucial to Wiccan ritual

Saw the “Wicca” episode of Bones. While the implication that “all witches are evil” is finally going to the wayside, the characterization of the Wiccans in the show made me want to choke someone. That person was not necessarily the show writers. The hippy-dippy pseudo-Renaissance speech crap came from a real person, I know this on a purely intuitive level.
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More updates on the Wicca and Divorce Book

It may not look like it right now, but progress is being made. I just sent off the intensive survey questions to a friend who will overview them for really obvious bias and inclusiveness. I’m trying to work in questions for those without gender identity, as I believe that is a factor I overlooked when writing the first draft of the book.

Towards the end of demonstrating I’m marketable, I’ve also opened up my own fan page on Facebook. If you’re on Facebook, please join and please recommend to anyone who would find my work relevant. Believe it or not, Facebook actually has a decent amount of marketing clout, so just by joining you are helping me bring this book into being.

More progress on Divorcing a Real Witch

I’m only now taking baby steps into writing the proposal, and I started with a rewrite of my chapter outline. This will definitely not be the final draft, but I thought I’d give you all a peek at the chapter titles so you can get the jist of the book:

Foreword: Why I wrote this book

Chapter 1: Why divorce when marriage is optional?

Chapter 2: The impact of divorce on family and friends

Chapter 3: Untangling the entanglement: the magical benefits of handparting

Chapter 4: Spells and magic to assist handparting rituals

Chapter 5: A year and a day, the end

Chapter 6: Oathbreakers and Warlocks

Chapter 7: Divorced witches under 30

Chapter 8: What to expect when you’re divorcing (and a witch)

Chapter 9: Rebounds, retrogrades and Saturn returns

Chapter 10: Life after handparting

Chapter 11: Between divorce and dating

Chapter 12: I’m single and Wiccan. Now what do I do with me?

Appendix – this will list resources helpful to divorcing pagans. Right now it’s just a book list including the works of Julia Cameron and Z. Budapest’s Summoning the Fates.

Looking at it here, it needs some re-ordering in the middle, but I can work with it.

What is and is not Wiccan

What is and is not Wiccan is not entirely mine to say. But I do want to share this observation:

Wicca as an overall religion does not have a central authority. This means that no one really gets to say what is and isn’t Wiccan, although people do try, and sometimes even I wish we could go “Uh, …. NO.” For instance, Klingon Wicca is just hard on my brain, especially since Klingons are much more in line with Asatru. Although Asatruar would likely not handle such a thing with… good humor.

Gardnerian Wicca has the most evidence supporting it as the first Wiccan tradition. OK, I’m fine with that.1

Then the religion evolved as a belief system that actually has the hallmarks of a strong spiritual path will. A lot of Gardnerians I’ve read seem very unhappy about this. One or two go so far as to try to classify other Wiccans as “neoWiccan” or just “not Wiccan” because it is not their style of Wiccan, and do not use their methods or standards of initiation, whatever those might be.

I just realized why I think this is shit behavior. I don’t care if someone thinks I’m Wiccan or not. That’s between me and God/ess, and since the divine and I are still talking there’s nothing another human being has got to say about my validity or lack thereof that I’d ever for a moment take seriously.

But I realized why it bothered me anyway. It’s a repeat of Christian history. It’s exactly what the Roman Catholic church does with any other style of Christianity. “Oh, that doesn’t exist.”2  It even has the same ring of authority to it. I’m not particularly a rebel, but my call to Wicca was just as legitimate as anyone else’s, and I don’t think God/ess actually gives a flying hobo about any religion.3  The we’re first entitlement is so… oldest sibling syndrome.

I’m not allowing comments on this one because a)like it or not, it’s a comparison that needs to be pointed out and b)I think we all need to think about it for awhile first because it’s bound to jerk a few knees and c)after the chest-pounding superiority that got peed on the True Blood post, I will no longer tolerate any self-aggrandizing shenanigans in my own house. I’m learning by observing rather than discussing at the moment. This is what I’ve observed and what I think about it. And unless I have reason to, I don’t really see myself discussing it further unless it becomes a problem to solve.

  1. It seems like a solid faith practice, although among the Gardnerians I know in Minneapolis there’s not one I would ever stand circle with. There’s too much of an undercurrent of somebody making decisions for me, and I don’t know what that is, but I know it’s human and not divine and I don’t like it. []
  2. If the Gardnerians try to adopt Alexandrians the way the Catholic church attempted to adopt the Lutheran church in 1991 I’m going to fall over laughing. []
  3. Religion is the up/down escalator to transport humans to the divine, and I’ve yet to hear Eros say, “But are you Gardnerian?” []

Oy! Where’d the time go? Oh, and elemental mastery

Awhile back, I performed a ritual I created to better understand earth as an element. I intended to work through each element according to a program I designed for myself, one that I hoped (possibly still hope) to make a useful book from at some point. Today, after a year of nagging and setting aside due to distress, I finally wrote a ritual of air. I was referring to the earth ritual for format consistency and saw the date where I’d scribbled notes about the experience: 2005.

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