wicca and divorce | Diana Rajchel

I thought I’d let a few of you all know how it’s going on the Divorcing a Real Witch project. In sum: slow and steady. The initial beta test of the poll on Wiccan divorce experience failed, so we (meaning my husband) moved it to a different server, and after an initial slow load time it appears to work in every browser. So now I’m looking for new beta testers. Contact me if you’d like to test the poll for me.

I’m also working on the second draft of the first two chapters, and trying to assemble something remotely usable as a proposal for prospective agents. In the process I’ve become frustrated with others in my craft and my Craft. I’m starting to suspect the reason I get so many patronizing and useless responses is because certain people just don’t want to admit it when they don’t know something. This reveals a lot about the reason for the abysmal state of publishing on pagan topics.¹

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Seriously, “try Writer’s Digest” or “Writer’s Market” is not a helpful response, since I already did it. Pointing me to AgentQuery after I MENTION AgentQuery is also NOT useful. And telling me to “do my homework” when I’ve just demonstrated that I have deserves no more and no less than a middle finger up your nose. Grr. [↩]

I’ve had this book on Wicca and divorce hanging over me for a few years now. I have two outlines, and somehow magically recovered material that really had been deleted several months back – at that time it seemed it was irrecoverable. But when I went on a file cleaning mission on my server, lo and behold, there it was last week, just waiting for me.

I’ve veered away from working on the book for several reasons, the biggest one being my qualifications: technically, I have none. This is all about magic to help ease the transition, because all that other stuff can’t even be handled properly by the qualified professionals.

I’m not a psychologist. I’m not a marriage counselor. I’m a priestess, but I’ve never led a coven and while I’m certain that will happen in the future if the circumstances are right, right now it’s just not going to happen.

I am a woman who has been divorced, who is also Wiccan. I got to discover firsthand that while I would say almost the majority of magical types in my area have experienced at least one divorce, for those going through divorce there was almost no support, and for the younger divorce’ there is significant and nasty stigma.

I’m not discovering a new world here. Other women have written guides on divorce survival. And, given the people out there who are determined to run around declaring who is and isn’t Wiccan apparently as their faith practice¹, I’m concerned this book, even if it does get published, will end up being just pissing in the wind because someone will get so hung up on the “legitimacy” of it that any information offered just won’t get used.

It’s an uncomfortable but real subject, and most of what’s out there starts off with “so, you failed.” Which is such judgmental, self-serving bullshit. It’s also really not fun to write, and as a newlywed, a bit awkward – although at least this relationship with my husband has already existed a very long time.

As I restart and rethink my approach once again, I’m asking a bizarre and improbable question: how can I make writing about dealing with divorce at a magical level fun?

Diana Rajchel

the blog of a concierge witch

Tag Archives: wicca and divorce

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